Bitter-Sweet Memories

Growing up, I always knew that if there is a place in the whole wide world I ever wanted to be was with my parents. At that point in my life, marriage, or having a family was hardly my concern. I just knew that family equals parents and nothing made me happier. I knew that I want to travel the world with them and my younger sister, but eventually, return to homeland. Never had the thought occurred that I would have to be anyplace else.

My sister, as a child, looked forward to settling in the States; her reasoning being it's a better lifestyle, clean environment, unpolluted, and somehow everything in the States is just right. I still recall during our vacations to Kerala where we spent time with relatives, our cousins always believed that it would be my sister who would definitely settle abroad. 

My sister has always been the adventurous kind, and she did everything that she did with gusto. Popular among her friends, students at college (not necessarily classmates), teachers, anybody and everybody; a very vibrant personality, she was and is admired by those who know her.

Now married, she lives in Kerala with her family. She always wanted to move to the U.S..

As for me, who never ever even in her wildest dreams wanted to live any place but India with my parents, or even close by, the time came when I was to be married, and the choice I had to make was to live spinster's life, or weave a life of my own, far, far away from a place I know and understand as home. I'm sure every woman has had to make this choice in her life, and this probably has been the most difficult choice ever. 

Fortunately, my parents and sister came to this far, far away land to see me married. It's been an year now, I'm happily settled, Amen; not a day goes by when I don't miss my home far, far away. The good thing is, I can get away with wearing jeans and a T-shirt most any place.

I always remember being that kind of girl—hated getting decked-up, hated make-up, hate stilettos; hated salwar-suits, saris. Out here, I don't have to try too hard when I step out. What's strange is, now I DO wanna wear Indian clothes, I DO wanna look Indian on American soil. Strange how life plays out. I do, however, believe that whatever happens is for the best. And there is a reason far beyond than the mind can fathom.

Life in the U.S. is fancy, but I've left a piece of me in a place I call H-O-M-E. 

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;"

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

~The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost