36, Married, and Unemployed!

Not long ago, I was employed with a well-known company, and in a real good position too, was extremely happy, and had that sense of freedom that we so yearn for. And then, like I was gutted, in the blink of an eye, it all just vanished . . . into thin air, just like that . . . Poof! 

It feels as though I'm not "alive" anymore; if you get my drift. I exist, but like an empty vessel. So much has changed in one year, that sometimes I wonder, "Is this what I wanted?" Change. It scares the hell out of most people, I'm no different; sometimes change is good, and we learn to accept and continue on our path. Sometimes, change leaves us stranded, yet bound by an invisible cord. 

New country, new environment, new people, new culture, new food, new everything! It gets to me at times, and drives me up the walls! If I could, I would love to rush to my country, where I truly belong. I'm not sure if this country will accept me at all; they keep things discreet, but I'm no fool either.

Education is given a lot of importance and treated with great respect back home; however, when I see students here, it appears that they are headed to a slumber party rather than going to college. Dressing up smart and modest was also part of our education, which is not really the case out here. So you see, it's a bit too much to gather; it's as though I need to unlearn my 36 years of culture, and 15 years of education. In my psychology class,  we had this topic on "Fight or Flight" reaction; interestingly, I'm torn between the two as we speak. 

I'd like to believe that I'm no quitter, I continue on the path of no return; however, if the temptation of returning to homeland ever occurs, I'm not so sure. 

Why is it that though I'm a graduate, have about 12 years of work experience, this country is not ready to offer me any jobs, it just doesn't make sense. Is it just because I'm not a citizen . . . yet? How do I make a living then? Who's gonna pay my bills? Who's gonna attend to my medical needs? I'm not here for the sheer joy of it, I'm here for a good reason, and their government knows it pretty well. We treat them like kings and queens; we don't give them a tough time when they are on our soil.

I hope that soon, the government, and whosoever else, sorts out things and lands me, and others like me, in respectable jobs; we deserve to be employed too, unbiased. I understand the government is being overly cautious in repercussion to what has befell this Country, but why grind everybody through that radar? It's wise to be cautious, but please don't overdo it.

To a person who has been on her toes working until now, "36, Married, and Unemployed" is not a tag that I would like to bear.

"I’m a woman of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job."